Anxiety: friend or foe? — July 31, 2015

Anxiety: friend or foe?

Hey Everyone! I wanted to reveal something to you before I start writing about anxiety and people tell me I do not know where they are coming from. My entire life through high school I have had anxiety issues and in order to control them, I became controlling. It was almost like I was OCD about everything! The house had to be so neat, the kitchen spotless, when I am cooking I am the only one who could be in the kitchen, my homework was always done, I always studied hard for my exams, everything had to be perfect. If it was not, I would literally yell like a monster- it was a scary experience. I never thought it could get worse.

Ever since college started and everyone told me how it was so hard to get into a dietetic internship, my anxiety has skyrocketed to a point where I do not even want to go back to school. I constantly have anxiety about classes, studying, making sure I am staying social so I don’t lose my friends- it is really hard to keep up with. I randomly have these anxiety attacks because school is approaching. Last year, it led to panic attacks and I could not even go to events because it would just happen. As a result, I made myself sick.

Anxiety is not something you can control. It can creep up on you at the most random moments. Yes, medicine sometimes helps, but not for everyone. Sometimes people are stuck . The only way to get control of your anxiety is to get control of yourself. Learn the triggers and when you know its about to come, try to relax, think positively, think of somethinfg, anything good in your life. What has helped me is yoga. I take it every week and it taught me how to breathe correctly and release my stress. Another way is working out. Sometimes I even have my attacks there, but I sit down, I breathe and kick the anxiety away. My favorite way was the advice my aunt gave me (my aunt just had her third liver transplant and been in the hospital for 2 months) she said that anything that bothers you or stresses you out, you have to push away whether its friends, events, the smallest things and once you push it away, you focus on yourself and think about what you need and how you can help yourself.

Now I said is anxiety a friend or a foe? I think its both. Anxiety can be used as a control to help you understand what you need and whats important to your health. Yes, I cry a lot when I have anxiety attacks- I shake, I have issues breathing, my body becomes completely drained, my heart races and I just want to cry- thats where the foe comes in. But as a result, I learned that sometimes I need to take a step back and look at what am I doing. Am I taking on to much, do I worry to much about what other people want from me and I end up not taking care of myself, do I need a break. IT also helps me understand that not everything in life is perfect- that I dont have a perfect life, but I learned to be ok with it. For the past 3 months I have worked in a cancer center and seeing how they can survive chemotherapy and radiation is beyond me. Now I am interning at the Hackensack Fitness and Wellness and still even the clients I have seen what they go through is a struggle. For example, we had one woman who has acid reflux and fibro myalgia, but that was not all. A few years ago, she fell down the stairs and broke both of her wrists, had to have a kidney taken out because it was damaged to much, and head trauma, but she still finds the courage to ask for help on nutrition and how to help her with weight loss. On the contrary to a lot of peoples beliefs, even obesity is a struggle. Yes, there are people who like to eat and just do, but then there are those people who emotionally eat and they eat because of struggles in their lives – if you do not believe me watch Extreme weight loss with chris powell- the stories will break you.

I have seen the best and worst of life, but even though I have anxiety I know I am not alone with struggles. It has taught me to ask for help when I need it, it has taught me that I am so lucky compared to what other people go to, but it also gives me strength because if I can work through my anxiety and still end up with a happy life- then f*** anxiety because I beat it and so can you!

Recipes of the week:

If you want to try this: I make this amazing bread crumb topping for chicken, fish, or really anything- I give all the credit to my sister. Its gluten free bread crumbs with a little olive oil, paprika, and a little chili powder. I put spicy dijon mustard for the base and then throw the crumbs on and its delicious!!

nothing is ready yet so I cant really post pictures but here are the recipes and their pictures:


chocolate chip cookie dough pops!!


pumpkin creamsicle!

chocolate chip cookies with caramel inside!! These are so good!! the caramel gets soaked up in the cookie and its really good!FullSizeRender (27)

“working out” at the gym — July 24, 2015

“working out” at the gym

Hey everyone!

You know when guys at the gym look at the girls in the mirror or through their peripheral vision check the girls out who are working out by them? you know when they started really working out hard to impress the girl if she is pretty? you know when girls get dressed up, where nice workout clothes or sometimes less clothing, put make up on, straighten their hair to impress the guys at the gym? You know when girls workout harder because of the hot guy working out by them?

we all do it! I do not think there is one person on this planet who does not. I know for sure I do! When the football players come to my gym at work to workout, I definitely workout harder than usual. but honestly, I go to the gym 5-6 times a week and I see the same girls and guys getting dressed up to go the gym or dressed down in no clothes. why they do it, I dont know. The gym is somewhere where people can get there stress out, get down and sweaty, do their routine, have fun training with their friends, have a good time, but putting on makeup and straightening your hair in the morning just to get all sweaty and gross whats the purpose?

I think looking gross and being sweaty at the gym should be a rule! you should embrace your true sweatiness and your sweaty side! My sister once said that she wishes she would come out of the gym looking like Taylor swift does! But why?? if you did not sweat, that means that you did not have a good workout (maybe just stared at a guys butt doing squats) working out at the gym should be about your own personal goals and your own routine and sometimes it can be social with your friends and people you meet ( i make friends all the time at the gym), but checking people out and getting dressed up eh… save that more for when you go to a party, bar, or club!

healthy recipes!!

I made two types of popsicles this weekend! they are ready yet so i couldnt take a picture, but this is what they look like!


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Then I made peanut butter rice krispie treats made with coconut milk, peanut butter, vegan marshmellows, and brown rice krispies! and i sprinkled coarse salt on top! yum!!

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I also made a tofu ricotta cheese! Now i hate ricotta cheese but this was so good!!  This is the recipe!! FullSizeRender (26)

Why is there a title for our body? — July 17, 2015

Why is there a title for our body?

In every magazine, you hear the questions, “are you curvy, apple or pear shaped, thin, big boned…” What are these words besides labels people decided to give people who did not look like stick thin models. Over the past decade, we have seen in every magazine, fashion show a certain stereotype of woman- stick thin size 0, flat chested, tall women or even six pack, tall, toned men. Over the past year. Certain magazines decided to post ads or covers with plus size models. People started to ask me. “Should that be allowed” “that’s not promoting healthy” some people even say they are ugly and have terrible bodies. I think that those people don’t understand the concept of a body.

the body is a complex thing made up of living cells I the body, with muscles, tendons, joints, organs, but even more so fat cells. Every single persons body is different. It works differently and functions differently and reacts differently. You can have two people who run everyday,  and eat healthy but one be heavier than the other. That doesn’t mean they are not healthy! Fat in the body is affected by multiple things: medicine, illnesses such as depression and anxiety basically anything stress related, food, lifestyle, and others. But yet everyone is still defined by the same set of labels.

it is because of those labels that have caused low self esteem and confidence, bullying, judgement on people who don’t look like models, and consequently the more negative comments a person gets the more depressed and heavier they become( unless used as a motivator)  being a person who fell victim to such negative comments understands how hurtful they can be!!

so before a person defines someone else’s body, think- how would you feel if someone defined your body? If someone put you down because you were heavier even though you are made up of entire muscle (like an athlete) if someone put you down because you were flat chested and had no butt bc of genetics. If someone called you big and fat because of a fat gene( there is such a thing)

Moral of the story is don’t define your body based off of labels or what other people tell you what yor look like. Define yourself base on how you and base on What you see!

Here are some cool healthy recipes that you can try.

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Instead of fattening egg salad, you can make it out of chickpeas and avocado!

FullSizeRender (23) these are fun snowball donuts!!

FullSizeRender (18) These are quinoa sloppy joes on a 100% whole wheat bun! it was so good and instead of ketchup i used no salt added marinara and added my own spices

FullSizeRender (17) These are donut muffins that are made with spelt flour



I have recently been noticing a lot lately that my friends and family are having trouble with the number they see on the scale. When I first started my weightloss journey, I have to be honest, I became addicted with looking at the scale. I already had comments made to me that I was fat, curvy, nicknamed thunder thighs, I would not wear a bathing suit because of all the stares I got, and the best part was when my doctor told me that if I keep gaining, it will not be good. So I befriended the scale, looking at my weight twice a week to see if I lost anything. I was eating healthier, I started exercising, but the weight was just not going down. I started on the scale at 150 pounds at a height of 5’3. But because the number on the scale was not going down, I started to get even stricter on my diet and once I did that I started to see the numbers go down. As a result, I got stricter and stricter in my diet and kept looking at the scale because I was seeing results so that must mean the less I eat the better the scale will look. I did this to the point where I was checking my weight everyday looking for  my goal weight at 125 pounds. During one summer at Moshava sleep away camp, their food was disgusting to me because it was all unhealthy (I used to be able to easily eat 4 slices of pizza in one sitting, but my perspective changed) I got so strict to the point in camp where all I ate was vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and cereal. I lost 10 pounds in 2 and a half weeks and got down to 129. I was so much happier even though I was not being healthy.It became an obsession, AN ADDICTION.

I have seen this also in my friends and family. They befriend the scale and come to say hi basically every day or even four times a week and when they dont like the number, they get depressed and either eat to much or eat to little. MY dad started to weigh himself and then on monday mornings after a weekened he would weigh himself!! that is the worse thing you can do. Because on the weekends, you eat more, are less active during the day, your body holds onto that food more (most people bloat a little) and then you tend to weigh more! Mondays are off limits in my book!! Its not a real number.

so rule number one:

  1. do not weigh yourself on monday
  2. do not weigh yourself after you ate late the night before
  3. do not weigh youself after you ate fast food or take out the night before
  4. do not weigh yourself if you do not sleep well
  5. do not weigh yourself after you have eaten
  6. do not weigh yourself if you have had alcohol the night before
  7. do not weigh yourself if you had a cheat meal the night before

THE GOAL IS TO WEIGH YOURSELF IN THE MORNING BEFORE YOU EAT OR DRINK AND IF YOU ATE HEALTHY THE DAY BEFORE! THAT WILL BE YOUR REAL WEIGHT! But I recommend weighing yourself either on Thursday morning (if your party on thursday nights) or friday morning (so you know you can cheat on the weekends if the number is good)

I cannot emphasize enough that losing weight is not a competition, its something you do for yourself to make yourself feel good, to do it in a healthy way, to not become obsessed! If anyone would like to contact me about any of their issues my e-mail is

now heres a recipe 🙂 FullSizeRender (16)

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