Hey Everyone! I wanted to reveal something to you before I start writing about anxiety and people tell me I do not know where they are coming from. My entire life through high school I have had anxiety issues and in order to control them, I became controlling. It was almost like I was OCD about everything! The house had to be so neat, the kitchen spotless, when I am cooking I am the only one who could be in the kitchen, my homework was always done, I always studied hard for my exams, everything had to be perfect. If it was not, I would literally yell like a monster- it was a scary experience. I never thought it could get worse.

Ever since college started and everyone told me how it was so hard to get into a dietetic internship, my anxiety has skyrocketed to a point where I do not even want to go back to school. I constantly have anxiety about classes, studying, making sure I am staying social so I don’t lose my friends- it is really hard to keep up with. I randomly have these anxiety attacks because school is approaching. Last year, it led to panic attacks and I could not even go to events because it would just happen. As a result, I made myself sick.

Anxiety is not something you can control. It can creep up on you at the most random moments. Yes, medicine sometimes helps, but not for everyone. Sometimes people are stuck . The only way to get control of your anxiety is to get control of yourself. Learn the triggers and when you know its about to come, try to relax, think positively, think of somethinfg, anything good in your life. What has helped me is yoga. I take it every week and it taught me how to breathe correctly and release my stress. Another way is working out. Sometimes I even have my attacks there, but I sit down, I breathe and kick the anxiety away. My favorite way was the advice my aunt gave me (my aunt just had her third liver transplant and been in the hospital for 2 months) she said that anything that bothers you or stresses you out, you have to push away whether its friends, events, the smallest things and once you push it away, you focus on yourself and think about what you need and how you can help yourself.

Now I said is anxiety a friend or a foe? I think its both. Anxiety can be used as a control to help you understand what you need and whats important to your health. Yes, I cry a lot when I have anxiety attacks- I shake, I have issues breathing, my body becomes completely drained, my heart races and I just want to cry- thats where the foe comes in. But as a result, I learned that sometimes I need to take a step back and look at what am I doing. Am I taking on to much, do I worry to much about what other people want from me and I end up not taking care of myself, do I need a break. IT also helps me understand that not everything in life is perfect- that I dont have a perfect life, but I learned to be ok with it. For the past 3 months I have worked in a cancer center and seeing how they can survive chemotherapy and radiation is beyond me. Now I am interning at the Hackensack Fitness and Wellness and still even the clients I have seen what they go through is a struggle. For example, we had one woman who has acid reflux and fibro myalgia, but that was not all. A few years ago, she fell down the stairs and broke both of her wrists, had to have a kidney taken out because it was damaged to much, and head trauma, but she still finds the courage to ask for help on nutrition and how to help her with weight loss. On the contrary to a lot of peoples beliefs, even obesity is a struggle. Yes, there are people who like to eat and just do, but then there are those people who emotionally eat and they eat because of struggles in their lives – if you do not believe me watch Extreme weight loss with chris powell- the stories will break you.

I have seen the best and worst of life, but even though I have anxiety I know I am not alone with struggles. It has taught me to ask for help when I need it, it has taught me that I am so lucky compared to what other people go to, but it also gives me strength because if I can work through my anxiety and still end up with a happy life- then f*** anxiety because I beat it and so can you!

Recipes of the week:

If you want to try this: I make this amazing bread crumb topping for chicken, fish, or really anything- I give all the credit to my sister. Its gluten free bread crumbs with a little olive oil, paprika, and a little chili powder. I put spicy dijon mustard for the base and then throw the crumbs on and its delicious!!

nothing is ready yet so I cant really post pictures but here are the recipes and their pictures:



chocolate chip cookie dough pops!!


pumpkin creamsicle!


chocolate chip cookies with caramel inside!! These are so good!! the caramel gets soaked up in the cookie and its really good!FullSizeRender (27)